The uniqueness that comprises the Highly Sensitive person is a result of "sensory processing sensitivity". This is found in 15-20% of the population, including men, women, children, and over 100 other species. Despite growing evidence that this is very real and very common, many are reluctant to admit that it is normal. And that really hurts. Especially when those who are reluctant to admit that this trait can provide wonderful blessing happen to be your own family members.
Being highly sensitive means taking in the same information that everyone else does but playing it through our heads in closer detail in order to gain a better overall picture and come to more precise (and hopefully helpful) conclusion. Thus, compared to others we don't think quite as fast on our feet unless the conversation is already going slowly. In which case, given time, we can prove to be very witty, creative, and funny. In more chaotic environments, we feel like we are drowning as our brains are still attempting to deeply process EVERYTHING that is going on.
Still, take a look at the definition again. Information is being recorded in our brains to find the nitty-gritty details. This comes with side effects that can be seen as good or bad. One of the best ways to remember something is when it is connected to emotions. Thus, highly sensitive persons can have very strong emotions and feel empathy very strongly in social situations. Parents of a highly sensitive child many not understand this and are thus unable to fathom why we are so emotional and why we become so emotionally tied to things. It's because we have our mind and heart set on something that causes us to always be perfectly obedient. Telling a child to "do as I say not as I do" only works so far when to a child they feel the grownup's reasoning is faulty. It isn't because we are out right defying anyone; it's just that we feel we know enough to make our own choices are our hearts are leading us down a different path. Our minds have thoroughly processed the situation in a way that we feel we are right. To a highly sensitive child who see a beautiful glass figurine in a Disneyland glass shop, the light and colors of it entrances us. We thoroughly long to touch it in order to feel that beautiful thing within our own hands. To a child, breaking the glass is the last thing on their mind because "who would EVER want to break that beautiful thing?" and the first thing on their mind is "who wouldn't want to examine that figurine more closely?" So when they keep to pick it up while a parent simply says "no" can you really blame them? They don't know that it is against the rules to pick it up and they don't know consequences the store might do to them if they pick it up. It doesn't mean they are right, it doesn't mean the parents are wrong, but there is a lack of solid communication. This leads to tantrums.
A tantrum happens when a child doesn't feel they are being understood, which typically happens when they don't get their own way. Personally, there was a lot of miscommunication in my family. For a highly sensitive child, fully explaining you side of a story is hard, and being told no about something they consciouly or unconscouly had their heart set on leads to complaints. A parent may then firmly tell a child the thing the child needs to understand. But what parents don't understand is that to the highly sensitve person, the way you say it plays just as much a role. Tell a child nicely and redirect his or her desire and you will see a more positive result: "no dear, I know that must look so much fun to play but this is not meant touching because the store may get mad, but look at the other cool stuff we can play with over here!" Tell a child firmly/sternly, "no, don't touch, that's against the rules," and you will quickly find that your highly sensitive child has just burst into tears in a total meltdown. The more meltdowns you get, the more you loose your patience which your child can detect which leads to more instances where the child thinks you hate them, and the you have more meltdowns. It is a decending cycle. Worse still, is when your highly senstive child begins to just stop having tantrums without changing the communcaiont because this leads to increases in failed relationships when these children grow up to becomes teens.
In my mom own words, "Tabatha, I could just tell you no, and you would burst into tears. You would cry at the drop of a hat." It's true I had tantrums for years, a frequently cried everyday, and eventually every other day (which isn't too much better) until six grade. I was bullied because the others students could easily get a reaction out of me, which made them feel better about their own lives. I didn't make many friends for four reasons. One, other students didn't want to be around someone so emotional, which while completely understandable, is also incredibly lonely at times. Two, I could read other students emotions so well that I knew when a relationship wasn't meaningful and so I felt maybe a little like I was being lied to, so I didn't always want to be their friends. Three, the few kids who really wanted to be my friend were so socially awkward and broke SO many social rules that my high sensitivity gave me a lot of social anxiety whenever I was around them. Four, my neighborhood that I moved to the summer when I was four, didn't have many other children who stuck around for too long due to the housing market in Las Vegas. Either their parents were more eager to buy that bigger house, or they foreclosed. There were a few kids who stuck around for a while who were my age, but they were ALL boys and for a little girl, this ...this did not work, plus I didn't own a skateboard (but one of those boys did give me a football..I wonder if I still have it because I'm sure I wouldn't have given it away). Anyway, I did lonely. My own siblings didn't always want to play with me because I just seemed so immature to them. This is, again, understandable, but it still hurts. Still, the rarest flowers grow in adversity. I learned how to make temporary friends which entails knowning how to introduce myself, how to know what to talk about to strangers, and how to easily start up a meaningful conversion effortlessly, which really benefits you when you get older.
Anyway, this is a long post. But I just wanted to get started in writing. I belong to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, also known by the nickname of the Mormons. We are typically encouraged to read our scriptures and pray everyday, which is not unexpected. But we are also encouraged to write in a journal every day. I have never been good at this. Over time I see why a journal was a good idea in the sense that I would probably have better handwriting than I do now when I hardly have to write anything other than notes from my classes. I digress. I never felt like I had anything to say before, but now I do. So this is my journal, my thoughts, my beliefs. And just like the body changes with time, so will my opinions. My high sensitivity led me to many hardships throughout my life that I will write about in the future. But I want to always make the point that it has blessed me with a life filled with richness.
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