Day 3 - Enduring to the End

I woke up an hour late today. I flew out of bed, texted my boss saying I would be a few minutes late, threw on the first clothes I laid hands on, threw my hair up in a clip, grabbed a cup of applesauce and a cup of cherry limeade and hurried out the door. I ate in the car and hurried to work. But I forgot to pray. I didn't even notice at first, but as the day progressed and I struggled to get the many tasks of the day done, I became irritable and stressed. This at times turned to anger.
Near the end of my day, I managed to get myself to attend the temple. As I prayed at the end of my experience sitting in my car in the parking lot, I felt a great peace of the spirit. But I was only home for a short while before the anger came back. And unsurprisingly for myself, I began to hate myself for having such irrational anger. I began to study gospel teachings and finally began to cry. I felt guilty for crying.
How is it we can strive so hard to be good and cherish the ideals of perfection and yet fail so easily?
I have a testimony that I know the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints is God's true gospel restored upon the Earth once more with full priesthood keys handed/provided by proper authority. I hope for it in my heart and I have faith in it through the facts and logic and many truths that I have seen in my life. I have a testimony that it is true and I hope for blessings, but the question is whether I really believe that I will receive blessings. It isn't that God isn't willing to give, it's that Satan pulls me into a position where I don't feel worthy to accept these kindnesses. This, this has to, this has to be the definition of low-self esteem right? How isn't I can feel so good and then drop so low? I know I can feel greater happiness in exchange for feeling bad now, but it can be hard to remember the light when life gets so dark.
It comes back to prayer. So little, so easily forgotten, and yet so vastly important. I recall how it's not about how you get knocked down; it's how you get back up. So I'm getting back up. I'm starting with this journal entry. And I will try again tomorrow. Tomorrow, I am going to say my morning prayer and make sure it is meaningful. This was my rant, my cool down, and my testimony. Bad days come to an end, and I hope that I can endure it well. Amen.